The Talk Therapy

As we go around and come across anyone fighting depression, our first response is to do our best to help them fight it, be with them, support them and that’s perhaps one of the best thing we can do for that person. But there are a few things we need to understand when we go through this process of support which will be helpful for them and ourselves:

1. Be a listener: Listen to their experiences, but don’t minimize their experiences or trauma. In most cases doing so may actually be more harmful for the person than help. Don’t tell them how things could have been worse, validate their pain. “The thing about pain, it demands to be felt.”
2. Be Patient: The process of a full recovery is long, you may have to bounce between different options to see which one is actually helpful and even after that it will take time.  The person will have some good days and some bad days, try not to get frustrated with the process. Trust the process and do what you can do, little things – help them get a get to a good diet plan, helping them with their work or daily chores, go with them to take groceries. These things will be a step towards a positive lifestyle.
3. Know your limitations: We all want to do our best for our friend; anything to make them feel better. A key to understanding that is the acceptance that you can be there as a friend but to help him deal with this phase properly you may need support too. This support might be from their family or in most cases a trained medical help. Also don’t try to over work yourself, you wouldn’t want yourself to get into a problem while helping someone; this will be difficult for you and the person may start blaming themselves for your situation.
4. Break the Taboo: We are part of a society where you can more easily accept having a communicable disease or getting a cosmetic surgery but not a sexual or mental health. There’s no shame in accepting that you may not be the best for your friend, encourage him/her to go to a trained psychiatrist for the best advice. Keeping the fact of going to a psychiatrist a secret is there choice, respect that choice and support them in this process.
5. Don’t punish yourself: When you go out to help someone, there is a chance that you may fail and the outcome maybe far from favorable and it’s heartbreaking. But you must not punish yourself for it or give up on what you started with a friend. Stay positive and keep doing your part to help anyone around you. Like a friend said to me “We are only human at the end of the day.”